Writings of a Beholder 🌿 6.21.24

The Benefits of Going on Retreat & How to Create Your Own

“The discipline of the Christian is not to master anything, but rather to be mastered by the Spirit. True Christian discipline is the human effort to create the space in which the Spirit of Christ can transform us into His image.”

— Henri Nouwen

I shared this quote on Instagram earlier this week along with some personal reflections after planning and engaging with my first-ever individual half-day retreat. I’ve attended quite a few guided, group retreats but had never ventured to create my own and the experience was refreshing on a very deep, soul level.

In last week’s letter, I shared with you about the practice of Sabbath and how you might cultivate more regular rhythms of rest and play. In that letter, I touched briefly on the topic of going on retreat or creating your own and how restful it can be for your mind, body, and soul. But after experiencing what it’s like to create my own, I wanted to come back this week and share with you what I noticed, what stirred within, why going on retreat is good for the soul, and how I did it in case this is something you’d like to explore further on your own time.

First, let’s talk about how I knew my soul was hungry for retreat, and how what was stirring within led to this decision in the first place.

Noticings & Stirrings

The past few months have felt rushed, full, and at times, overwhelming. My schedule, while packed with good and necessary things, has felt heavy and constant. I started noticing that my ability to sit still in the presence of God was dwindling and being replaced with scrolling on social media, packing my time with watching my favorite reality TV shows and reaching for a novel that took me anyplace but where I actually was.

The scrolling, watching, and reading I knew were only symptoms of a deeper problem. They were my attempt at escaping the growing anxiety in my chest and the constant worry about future things that felt unknown and scary. I kept myself busy and distracted because I had forgotten the beautiful truth that time alone in God’s presence was precisely the antidote to my soul-sickness.

The result? I felt burnt out, anxious, restless, and weary. Soon, my body began to manifest all of these things and some autoimmune symptoms started to flare. I had hit a wall, and I knew that I needed to slow down, pay attention to what my body was telling me, and ask myself the one question that I had been avoiding for months.

How is it with my soul?

This was the question that led me back to a place of emotional honesty before God, and it was there in holding that question before the Lord that I knew I needed to take intentional time away from my everyday grind and create space to be with God.

Why Retreating is Good for the Soul

Looking back, I know now that taking time away to be alone with God needs to be a more regular rhythm for me. I don’t want to wait again until I’m completely exhausted and burnt out to start listening to what my soul and body were both screaming at me: that creating space to be alone with God for an extended period of time is necessary for my nervous system’s regulation and my soul’s wellbeing.

I understand though that going away on retreat regularly isn’t a luxury that all of us have. A lot of us have full-time jobs and families to pour into, and God is right there in the midst of all of it and can be accessed at any time.

But I also wonder how many of us could block out more time for rest, silence, and solitude with the Lord into our schedules — even if it was just for half of a day — and just simply choose not to. Maybe it’s because it feels impossible, so we don’t even try to have conversations with those around us to explore if it could be a possibility. I know that I personally fall into these categories!

The truth is though, that creating space to be silent and alone with God feeds our souls and brings us back to the reality of God’s Love for us. Jesus Himself made solitude with God a regular rhythm and it empowered and refreshed Him to do His Father’s will. Luke 5:16 not only shows us this is what He did, but that He did it often.

 ^“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” (NIV)

Jesus went away alone and He went away often.

Solitude — this act of retreating — created the space for God that Jesus needed for His soul to be sated. If this is something that the Son of God needed and incorporated into His regular rhythm of life and prayer, then why shouldn’t we follow His example?

King David also wrote about the need for God to satisfy the soul, and how turning our gaze toward Him is what truly satiates us.

“O God, You are my God; with deepest longing I will seek You;
My soul [my life, my very self] thirsts for You, my flesh longs and sighs for You,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have gazed upon You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
So will I bless You as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul [my life, my very self] is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises [to You] with joyful lips.”

— Psalm 63:1-5, AMP, emphasis added

Going on retreat, this act of intentionally getting away to be with God, satisfies our souls in a way that nothing else ever will be able to. It’s in those moments of beholding His presence in silence and solitude that we are stripped of all falsity and loved back into our truest selves. Retreat is meant to be a place of healing, reconnection, refreshment, and rest. Sometimes this time away can even bring clarity or discernment to certain things or situations weighing on our hearts. Other times, it’s simply a needed reminder that God is present and with us always.

No matter what, it’s meant to be a time of sweet communion with God as we step back into our original design as a people who were created for intimate relationship with the shepherd and creator of our souls.

How to Create Your Own Half-Day Retreat

There are a multitude of ways that you could go about creating your own personal half-day retreat, and all of them would probably be correct. But I can only share with you what I know worked for me from my own experience, so that’s what I’m going to do here today. I’m going to walk you through step by step how I created my own half-day retreat. I invite you to give these steps a try and maybe step outside the lines a bit if you want to make it your own. Because the reality is, there’s no right or wrong way to go on retreat. The goal is just to create intentional space to be alone with God.

Step 1: Choose a Time & Place

The first thing I did once I decided I wanted to go on retreat was look at the calendar. I knew I wanted to choose a Saturday because Saturdays are usually free for me; I don’t have the distraction of my job or appointments I need to hurry off to, and more times than not there’s space for me to fill. So that’s what I did — I filled a Saturday on the calendar and marked it ‘Retreat Day’. Once I had set the date, I communicated with my husband that this was something that I needed for the health of my soul and so I wanted to make sure this would work for him, too, and wouldn’t clash with anything he had on his schedule.

It turned out that he was going to be spending the afternoon golfing with some old friends, so it worked out perfectly. But for those with small children who don’t have the luxury of just taking off for half of a Saturday, communication with a spouse or someone who can help make this happen is vital!

Once you’ve picked your day, start thinking about where you might want to have your retreat. I would recommend choosing someplace with little to no distractions where you can truly unplug and enter fully into the silence with God. Maybe this is a local park, your favorite bench in front of your neighborhood pond, or it could even be your own home. Just someplace where you can do as Henri Nouwen says and ‘create the space in which the Spirit of Christ can transform us into His image’.

You may also want to think about your start and end times. For me, I chose to begin my retreat in the morning around 9 am, and ended it at 2 pm. I would aim for 5-6 hours if possible, but if you only have time for 2-3 hours, that will work, too!

Step 2: Think About How You Want to Spend Your Time

After you’ve chosen the time and place and created the space in your schedule to be alone with God, it’s time to start thinking about how you’d like to spend your time on retreat.

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself when it comes to this part, because ultimately I believe the invitation anytime we partake in any kind of retreat is to come with zero expectations. Meaning, leave room for the Spirit to lead your time together and be fluid with whatever you feel invited to enter into as you retreat. With that said though, it can be helpful to alleviate some of the anxiety about what you’re supposed to be doing on retreat by creating a loosely held plan.

For example, you could create for yourself a loose timeline based on some of the things you’d like to do. Here are some practices or activities that you may want to consider adding to your retreat timeline:

• Choosing a small passage of Scripture for the day to practice Lectio Divina with

• Reflective journaling

• Going for a walk or engaging in some sort of light movement such as yoga

• Sitting by a body of water or on your favorite bench on a trail and simply resting in God’s presence, taking in the beauty around you

• Listening prayer

• Meditating on a breath prayer for the day

• Bird watching

• Taking a nap

• Praise and worship time with your favorite hymn or worship song

• Doing something creative like painting or drawing

Another great resource you may find helpful when planning your own retreat is a half-day retreat guide. I purchased a digital one from Leadership Transformations INC. that centered around the theme of soul rest, and it was a wonderful resource that offered guidelines, reading material, and a loosely held timeline of events. I didn’t follow everything they suggested, but it definitely helped me set up the framework for my day!

The rhythms you choose for your retreat day will determine what you need to bring with you. But here’s a short list of items you may want to consider using or bringing along.

• Bible

• Journal

• Pens

• Art supplies

• A blanket to sit on if you’re outside

• Water and some snacks

• Some sort of devotional reading

If you are able, leave your phone, laptop, and any other electronics behind, or at least put them on silent so you can fully unplug and become present to God with you.

All in all, when it comes to discerning how to fill the space, just remember that no matter what you choose to do, God is with you. As you cultivate the space to be open before God, resting in His sweet presence, He will be faithful to meet you right where you are.

Step 3: Before You Begin, Pause

Once you’ve nailed down the date, time, and place, and you’ve contemplated a few restful things you’d like to do while on retreat, I would invite you to pause before you begin and pay attention to the state of your soul at the beginning of the retreat and then once again at the end of your retreat.

This was something I felt invited to do and it was really helpful in discerning what my soul needed most for the day. So, right when I sat down to begin my retreat, I opened up my journal and wrote down this question:

How is it with my soul?

It forced me to pause, pay attention, and be authentic about how I was arriving on retreat. I quickly became aware of my weariness and recorded in my journal that my soul desperately needed peace and rest. From there, I partnered with God to choose rhythms throughout my day that created space for His presence to tend to those weary places within me.

At the end of my retreat, I wrote down that same question in my journal, and after spending half a day with my gaze turned toward Christ, I recorded these words:

Refreshed. Hopeful. Excited. Grounded. Rested. Embodied.

Reflecting on this question and journaling your answers at the beginning and end of your retreat is a helpful grounding practice that can bring clarity to what your soul needs most and how God met you in your need and provided faithfully and lovingly.

An Invitation Into Intimacy & Connection

One of my favorite passages about cultivating intimacy with God comes from J. Oswald Sanders’ book, Enjoying Intimacy with God, which says,

“It was love that drew John into a deeper intimacy with Jesus than the other apostles. Jesus loved them all, but John alone appropriated the title ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved’. If Jesus loved John more, it was because John loved Him more. Mutual love and confidence are the keys to intimacy. It would seem that admission to the inner cirlce of deepening intimacy with God is the outcome of deep desire.

Only those who count such intimacy a prize worth sacrificing anything else for, are likely to attain it. If other intimacies are more desireable to us, we will not gain entry to that cirlce. The place on Jesus’ breast is still vacant, and open to any who are willing to pay the price of deepening intimacy. We are now, and we will be in the future, only as intimate with God as we really choose to be.”

Going on retreat is meant to deepen our intimacy with our Creator. It’s in that time of stillness, silence, and solitude that we are able to step out of our noisy, distracting everyday lives and step into sweet communion and rest with Jesus. The more we prioritize time away to rest in His Love, the more our hearts begin to look like His. Our souls fill with the things of the Spirit and we are satisfied in ways that reach beyond the things of this world.

Intimacy is always Christ’s invitation to us, and entering into a time of retreat is one way in which we give God the space He desires and needs to grow our love for Him and for people.

“Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and Him alone.”

— Henri Nouwen

My prayer for you, my friend, is that you would respond with a wholehearted ‘yes’ to the gentle invitation to come away and be with God.

I pray that as you enter into your own time of retreat that the Holy Spirit would meet you tenderly in those places of weariness and struggle.

May those dry places in your soul thirsting for more be met with water from Heaven.

May your soul find rest in God alone. (Psalm 62:5)

With you on the journey,

Celia

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Life Lately

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A Breath Prayer for Your Weekend

Inhale: You rejoice over me.

Exhale: With joyful songs.

(adapted from Zephaniah 3:17)

*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.

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Resources & Good Things to Pick Up

I shared these last week, but if you want to create your own half or full-day retreat here are some written guides that you can purchase as well as a podcast episode you can listen to that walks you through how to create your own:

• Leadership Transformations INC. Individual Retreat Guides

• How to Create a Personal Spiritual Retreat (And Reflections on My Own) by Kari Bartkus on the Love Does That Podcast

My Etsy shop, The Beholding Co., offers contemplative resources to help you slow down, seek still moments, and behold God’s presence with you in the everyday. Purchase some breath prayer cards, a Lectio Divina bookmark, and more.

Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!

My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently

My mom is an ovarian cancer survivor who decided to create an encouraging planner for those walking through their cancer journey. It would also be a life-giving tool for caregivers and loved ones walking beside their cancer warrior. The ‘For Such a Time as This’ planner is officially available for purchase now here: Quiet Hope Co.

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An Invitation to Pause & Reflect

A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.

Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):

How is it with your soul?

Do you feel called to meet God on retreat?

How might you create more space for the presence of God in your life?