Writings of a Beholder 🌿 7.12.24

Learning What it Means to Wait Well

Is anyone really good at waiting?

I’ve heard the phrase ‘wait well’ more times than I can count within my Christian circles. I’ve heard the term most used when someone describes themselves in the middle of a waiting season or waiting on the Lord for something they long for in their heart that hasn’t yet come to fruition.

‘I just want to wait well’, is what the prayer of their heart usually sounds like as they bravely and boldly vocalize it.

I’ve never really given the phrase much thought truthfully, but now that I find myself in the final weeks leading up to my due date, my heart’s prayer has become just that.

I want to wait well.

I find myself in this strange in-between place holding the tension of wanting this waiting to be done, to bring our daughter home, and also desiring to be present to these few final weeks my husband and I have left of just the two of us. I’m looking ahead, but also don’t want to miss what’s right in front of me.

I’ve had to wrestle a little bit with what I understand ‘waiting well’ to truly mean. Because when I initially named this longing, I felt like stating that I want to wait ‘well’ sort of insinuated that there’s a right or wrong way to wait on the Lord. And now that I’ve sat with this longing — this prayer — for a little while, I don’t believe that to be true.

I’ve come to see that there’s a difference between trying to wait correctly and desiring to wait well.

There are a few Scriptures that immediately come to my mind that have to do with waiting on the Lord. The one that I keep returning to is Psalm 27:14. Many of us are probably familiar with it, especially as written in the ESV or NIV translations.

“Wait for the Lord;
    be strong, and let your heart take courage;
    wait for the Lord!”

(ESV)

At first glance, these words sort of stump me. They don’t tell me how to wait, or what waiting on the Lord even means. Maybe that’s just a mystery I’ll forever have to hold and keep putting my faith in. But I do think that other translations of this same verse reveal a little bit more of what it truly looks like to wait well on the Lord. So, for the sake of giving us a broader scope of language for waiting on God, here’s the same verse in both the Amplified Version and The Passion Translation.

“Wait for and confidently expect the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.”

(AMP)

“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:

Don’t give up; don’t be impatient;

be entwined as one with the Lord.

Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope.

Yes, keep on waiting — for He will never disappoint you!”

(TPT)

Don’t you just love the beauty of language?

After sitting with these translations for a few weeks and asking the Holy Spirit to speak through His Word, there are two things I’ve come to notice and lean into when it comes to my own journey of ‘waiting well’. Maybe these realizations aren’t going to be true for you, and that’s ok. I’m just going to share what I feel the Lord has been speaking to me in my own waiting season, and whether you resonate or not, I pray He speaks over you what’s true for you in your current season of life.

First, I’ve come to realize that waiting well means being emotionally honest with myself and with God. Waiting seasons can be difficult because they usually don’t come with a clear direction. Sometimes, they don’t even provide us with arrows and it can feel confusing and disheartening. Naming the ache, frustration, sorrow, and discouragement surrounding this waiting season in the presence of God keeps my soul unclogged and healthy. Here is where I can be my true self and boldly live into the truth that no matter how I feel — or perhaps don’t feel — God receives me fully and lovingly. And as I engage in this practice of emotionally healthy spirituality, my heart opens, and I allow myself and God the opportunity to be fully present to what I’m carrying.

Perhaps this is part of what it looks like to ‘be entwined as one with the Lord.’

Second, this invitation to be ‘brave’, ‘strong, and ‘courageous’ — to ‘take heart’ — that I notice woven throughout each translation isn’t a command to stand my ground and never waver in my faith as I wait. Rather, I believe it’s an invitation to keep asking the hard questions, showing up in the presence of God with my heart on my sleeve, and choosing to return to the truth that despite how difficult it is to wait on the Lord, He’s with me and He’s good. I never wait alone, and even here in the hallway — in the in-between — there are good things to be received. Love waits with me, taking me gently by the hand, and sits soundly in the uncertainty of it all.

Bravery, strength, and courage can look like wielding a sword and flashing a confident smile. Other times, bravery, strength, and courage simply look like showing up shaky and scared. There’s space for both and everything else in between, and one isn’t better or more valid than the other.

These are just a few things I’ve found to be true in my waiting season, but I know there’s still much I don’t understand when it comes to waiting well on the Lord. What I do know is that God never expects perfection because there’s no humanity to be found in that beast, only shame. And shame is not our friend.

Leaning into our humanity can feel like a scary, vulnerable thing. But it’s in allowing ourselves to be human that we also allow ourselves to be open to the presence of God. To be open to what he has for us now, even as we wait.

I’ll offer you these final words from Every Moment Holy Vol. I as a benediction and a blessing. May they bring you comfort in your silence, peace in your uncertainty, and strength in your vulnerability.

“In your presence I can offer my questions,

knowing you are never

threatened by my uncertainties.

They do not change your truth.

My doubts cannot unseat your promises.

You are a rock, O Christ,

and your truth is a bulwark

that I might dash myself against,

until my strength is spent

and I collapse at last in despair,

only then to feel the tenderness of your embrace

as you stoop to gather me to yourself,

drawing me to your breast

and cradling me there,

where I find I am held again by a love

that even my doubts

cannot undo.”

— A Liturgy for Nights & Days of Doubt

Selah.

With you on the journey,

Celia

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Life Lately

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A Breath Prayer for Your Weekend

Inhale: I am held by a Love.

Exhale: That my doubts cannot undo.

(adapted from Every Moment Holy Vol. I)

*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.

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Resources & Good Things to Pick Up

My mom is an ovarian cancer survivor who decided to create an encouraging planner for those walking through their cancer journey. It would also be a life-giving tool for caregivers and loved ones walking beside their cancer warrior. The ‘For Such a Time as This’ planner is officially available for purchase now here: Quiet Hope Co.

My Etsy shop, The Beholding Co., offers contemplative resources to help you slow down, seek still moments, and behold God’s presence with you in the everyday. Purchase some breath prayer cards, a Lectio Divina bookmark, and more.

Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!

My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently

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An Invitation to Pause & Reflect

A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.

Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):

What does ‘waiting well’ look like for you right now?

How is God revealing Himself to you in your current season of life?

How might you practice being emotionally honest with God?