Writings of a Beholder 🌿 9.8.23
Pausing at the threshold of my life
Pausing at the Threshold of My Life
The word ‘transition’ has been on my mind a lot this week as we’ve stepped into the first few days of September. It’s probably due to the fact that in my mind, September means — despite the 80-degree days this week — that the autumn season is just on the horizon.
So even though the weather isn’t matching up with the calendar, I’m already beginning to pull my sweaters and jeans to the front of my closet while slowly pushing back the shorts and tank tops. This is my way of preparing for the transitioning of the seasons. It’s how I’m choosing to say goodbye to summer and hello to autumn.
The word transition comes from the Latin word, transire, which means to ‘go across’. When I think of transitions I think of change. I think of letting go in order to move forward. I think of stepping across new thresholds and entering new rooms.
What I often don’t think to do when a seasonal or life transition comes my way is to pause before crossing the threshold. I’m usually so caught up in what’s in front of me that I fail to acknowledge what it is that’s ending or coming to a close and I rush right by what’s being left behind.
Because transitions usually signify an ending to something familiar, don’t they?
As the fall season slowly sneaks up on us, we say goodbye to these longer summer days and shorter summer nights that we’ve grown so accustomed to. We let go of warmer weather, the sound of lawnmowers, and the smell of sprinklers watering flowers in the neighborhood. We pack away our swimsuits, sunscreen, and sandy beach towels and reach for our winter coats and mittens.
But I wonder, how often do we pause to notice the ending of things?
How often do we grieve the letting go throughout the different seasons and phases of our lives and give it a name in order to go across the threshold and into a new season?
Transitions oftentimes are invitations to slow down, pause, and notice where our feet are at the threshold of a new season. They’re invitations to reflect on how God formed and shaped us in the room we’re closing the door on so that we can enter fully and presently into the new rooms we’re being called to.
Transitions are those sacred in-between spaces in our lives where God quietly calls us to take a moment, look up at Him, remember Who He’s been, and hold fast to Who He’ll always be.
So, as I make my way toward the autumn season, I decided to do a little reflecting on what I’ve learned this summer about God, myself, and life in general and share it with you today. This is a practice I’ve adopted recently as a way to bear witness to my life and name where my feet have been in relation to where they currently are and where I think they might be headed.
This is how I’m gently welcoming the transitioning of the seasons: by pausing at the threshold of my life and paying attention to where I am and where God is in the midst of it.
Three Things I’m Noticing at the Threshold of this New Season
Grief and joy can coexist
I’ve done a lot of naming and letting go of old hurts and traumas in this season of my life, and in the hard and messy process of letting grief wash over me, I’ve noticed a newfound joy blooming within me. I hadn’t realized it, but in pushing back the past, I had actually muted my present life. I’ve decided to stop running and face my own darkness and in doing so, I’ve encountered God as a gentle, loving Light Who sits with me in the pain and yuck. His Light has slowly healed me and loved me back into wholeness and the vibrancy of my life has returned. After a decade of running, I’m finally able to breathe deeply where I am and give thanks for the life I’ve been given.
I’ve given grief and joy permission to coexist together in my life and my soul and in doing so, I’m able to be present to my life in a way I never have before.
Beauty is a tonic for my soul
I’m learning in this season that I am a person who needs beauty in her life. I’m someone who needs to pay attention to the colors of the sunrise, name them and capture them in a photo, and let the joy of that wonder-full moment leak into the rest of my day. I’ve noticed that on the days and during the weeks I’m not paying attention to the colors of the sky, the swaying of the leaves on a tree branch, or the way dappled light filters through my windows, I’m grumpy and off-center. Of course, bad days will come, but allowing the outside world and the beauty hidden within it to call me out from within my own head is a practice of clapping back the dark and reaching for hope in a hurting world.
Beauty truly is a tonic to the soul and when I’m actively pausing to look for it in my everyday life, I become worshipful and thankful to the God Who breathes beauty into the world around me.
I like people
That may sound funny, and it sort of is, but I’m serious when I say that I haven’t always… liked people, that is. I’m an introvert at heart so I naturally enjoy being alone. But cover that up with years of unspoken hurt and trauma and my natural tendency toward introversion quickly turned into isolation and a desperate need to not be seen. As I’ve begun naming my wounds and letting God into those hurting places, I’ve learned that not only am I created for community, but I actually really enjoy it and I want to be seen! I want to be known. So, I’ve made it a priority in this season to connect with people who are healthy and safe and want to be held gently in community just as much as I do.
I’m noticing that healthy community feels like open space to me, a place to be held and to safely hold others as we all together walk with Jesus amidst the messiness of everyday life. I’m seeking out safe, wholesome places where all of our broken pieces are held gently up to the Light.
A Blessing for New Beginnings
Now that I’ve shared with you three things I’m noticing about myself, God, and my life at the threshold of this new season, I pray that you, too, would take time to pause and notice where you’ve been, where you are, and where you might be headed next. I hope you take time to name in God’s presence how you feel, what you fear, and what brings you life.
This practice of naming what we notice in the here and now invites us to pause at the threshold of our lives so that we can not only say goodbye to what we’re leaving behind but so that we can also wave a gentle hello to what’s before us.
Transitions are about letting go, yes, but they’re also about saying hello. So I’d like to end here with one of my favorite blessings (which I know I’ve shared with you before and probably will again) from John O’Donohue; A Blessing for New Beginnings.
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.
For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.
It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.
Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.
Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.
Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.
May our transitions and thresholds always be invitations that lead to a deeper life hidden and brought to life in the sweet and powerful presence of God.
May they lead us to new beginnings and the truth of what sets our souls on fire.
With you on the journey,
Celia
Life Lately
A Breath Prayer for Your Weekend
breathe in:
You, Lord, will make a pathway.
breathe out:
Through the wilderness. (adapted from Isaiah 43:19, NLT)
*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.
Resources & Good Things to Pick Up
Grab some breath prayer cards, a journal, a candle, and other contemplative resources from my Etsy shop: The Beholding Co.
Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!
My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently
An Invitation to Pause & Reflect
A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.
Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):
Take some time this weekend or this coming week to reflect on the season of life you are in.
What’s bringing you life?
What’s draining the life from you?
What are you learning about yourself, God, and life?
What transitions are you in the midst of or what transitions are you anticipating?
