Writings of a Beholder 🌿 9.22.23
A short reflection on time, brokenness, and whispered praises
Photo by Marten Bjork on Unsplash
A Short Reflection on Time, Brokenness, and Whispered Praises
I stand in line at the pharmacy, the reality of human frailty hitting me hard in the face.
An elderly woman stands at the counter ahead of me, weathered hands reaching for the brown sack that holds her prescription. As she turns to leave, she smiles at me and her eyes crinkle with years of laughter and tears.
I smile back, grateful for her kindness, and think to myself, ‘How strange that our bodies age and break so much so that we need to stand in lines like these.’
The pharmacist calls me forward and the whole drive home afterward I think of that woman, that line, how fast time turns and how quickly we can warp into people who look unfamiliar in the mirror.
What stories does she hold?
What horrors has she seen?
Has her life been full of love despite the reality of this broken world?
I pull into the driveway and hold my own brown paper sack in my hands, remembering that I, too, am a bit worn and weathered in some places. My 28 years feel short, they tell me I’m still young, but my soul doesn’t really feel young. Somedays it does I suppose, but other days — like today — my body and soul feel as old as that white-haired woman with her kind smile.
The passing of time, I realize, can be a gift or a curse depending on how you move through life. Rush right through and stuff it all down, grab what you can, and run, and time feels like an enemy sent to torment you with lies that your best has already been lived.
But slow down, linger in the warmth of a kind smile, the sound of laughter, dappled light through tree branches during golden hour, the embrace of a lover or a friend, cradling the soft head of a baby, and time becomes your ally reminding you of all that’s beautiful despite what’s warped and broken.
Reminding you that the best is still ahead.
I get out of the car, walk into my home, and the dogs greet me with their wet noses, and in that moment, I give thanks.
I pause and give thanks for a body that functions, even if it needs help sometimes from medicines tucked into brown paper sacks. I give thanks for wet dog noses and sloppy kisses and a husband who always asks how the drive was when I return home, even if it was just right down the road.
These small moments of grace make up a whole big life, don’t they? And it’s then that I realize that the elderly woman at the pharmacy counter had to have known love and joy and grief and fear to be able to smile at a stranger so genuinely.
Because it’s all of life’s experiences and emotions mixed together that becomes the soul’s glue.
Love is the ingredient that makes it all stick while grief and sorrow wash wounds clean, leaving room for more grace to shine through.
Our bodies grow older, and so do our souls, and every hand becomes weathered with life and living. But time can be a gift to unwrap every day if we choose to come alive to the quiet blessings woven within each moment. I think it’s in reaching for those gifts, beholding the presence of God in all things, that we come to believe that the best is yet to come.
“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” — 2 Corinthians 4:15, NIV
In a world full of broken and dying things and bodies that don’t always work, we reach for grace, give thanks, and we’re met with Love and the Light pours in to guide our way forward, one clumsy step at a time. This practice of reaching and praising invites us to pause and look for all the ways heaven meets earth.
“Blessings keep our awareness of life’s holy potential ever present,” says Dennis Lennon, in his book, Fueling the Fire: Fresh Thinking on Prayer. “They awaken us to our lives… The blessings can be whispered. No one even need hear. No one but the Holy One.”
Maybe that’s the antidote to the bitterness of growing older, bodies breaking, and loved ones dying; whispered praises in spaces that feel brittle and broken. Whispered praises of thanks and blessing in the face of all that feels uncertain.
Time doesn’t have to be an enemy, I think to myself as I place the brown paper sack onto the kitchen counter, late afternoon light gleaming through the windows.
This present brokenness doesn’t have to be the end.
Time can be an invitation to slow ourselves so as not to miss the glory of God living into the world — living into our very souls, each whispered praise and blessing of thanks stopping the clock and rooting us to the spot.
This present brokenness can lead us to abundance found in the strength and gentleness of a God Who knows what it’s like to fully come alive in an already dying world.
Thanks be to God.
With you on the journey,
Celia
Life Lately
A Breath Prayer for Your Weekend
breathe in:
My times.
breathe out:
Are in Your hands. (adapted from Psalm 31:15, NIV)
*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.
Resources & Good Things to Pick Up
Ann Voskamp is one of my favorite writers, and I’ve really been enjoying her reflections lately in her One Thousand Gifts Devotional. These reflections center on gratitude and the power of pausing to give thanks in a fast-moving world: Get it on Amazon
Grab some breath prayer cards, a journal, a candle, and other contemplative resources from my Etsy shop: The Beholding Co.
Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!
My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently
An Invitation to Pause & Reflect
A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.
Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):
At the end of each day or week, try making a gratitude list, reflecting on all the ways in which you experienced God’s presence with you, giving thanks for His everyday gifts.
Aside from a gratitude list, what might a practice of whispered praises look like for you in this season of your life?
How do you feel about time lately? Does it seem to be rushing by or slowing down? Depending on your answer, take a few minutes to reflect on what God’s invitation to you might be in that.
