Writings of a Beholder 🌿 12.8.23
Limping Into Advent
Photo by Anne Nygård on Unsplash
"I (almost) always come limping into Advent, desperate for light, but almost too tired to look for it. Then I remember: The Light came looking for me, and that's the whole point."
— Annie B. Jones
This quote has been circulating on Instagram these last few weeks, and I find myself returning to it almost daily. There’s something different about this Advent for me where I am keenly aware of my humanity and my own unease. I, too, am limping into and through Advent.
Aren’t we all?
In some way, shape, or form we all come to this season carrying something heavy or harboring something that’s at least a little uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the unease of a new and unfamiliar stage of life, the pain of loss and grief, illness, divorce, a dying friendship, or fear of whatever is supposed to come next.
I mean, isn’t what connects us all so intricately is not only our shared joy but our shared suffering? It’s something every human has or unfortunately will at some point in life experience; pain, grief, loss, discomfort.
And the good news for me, and you, too, is that Christ comes to us.
Even when we’re too tired and broken to utter even a single word of prayer, He’s already there.
The joy found in all this messy limping and hurting is that God is Immanuel: God With Us. He didn’t come just for the mountaintop experiences and the moments laced with laughter and joy. He also came for the moments when we’re melting down and screwing it all up.
He came to enter into all of it — the good, the bad, and the terrifyingly painful.
“The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
a light has dawned
on those living in the land of darkness…For a child will be born for us,
a son will be given to us,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
He will be named
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”(Isaiah 9:2, 6 CSB)
The light dawned because a Son was given.
Not earned, not strived after, not outperformed for… but given.
That means when I’m too tired or broken to even open up the Word, the Word comes breathing and speaking into my life without me having to work for Him. His presence is here, always coming after me, I need only rest there on the days when everything else goes dark.
I’m learning this Advent that I am enough as I am because of Who He is. I can’t add to that truth or take away from it. So as I limp, He gives His grace and offers His hand and helps me gently forward, one step at a time. There is no shame in this because the God-man knows what being human feels like and I really feel like the only way to truly experience the loving presence of God is to let Him meet us right here in our humanity.
I am loved, no matter what, and it’s here — with that truth under my belt — that I am able to receive the Son Who gives and gives and keeps on giving.
Given, not earned.
I mutter this under my breath and breathe a little easier on the days when I have nothing to give. Because it’s here in my emptiness that God fills the gap between this broken body and the broken down world and the Kingdom that has come and is yet to come.
What a relief that God comes to us, is given for us, so that all we need do is open empty hands to receive God With Us.
Always with us. Through every laugh, tear, smile, scream, and curse word.
His presence, given… not earned.
With you on the journey,
Celia
A Breath Prayer for the Advent Season
Inhale: To us, a child is born.
Exhale: To us, a Son is given.
(adapted from Isaiah 9:6)
*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.
I also have available in my Etsy shop Advent-themed breath prayer cards. You can grab them here: The Beholding Co.
Resources & Good Things to Pick Up
My Etsy shop, The Beholding Co., offers contemplative resources to help you slow down, seek still moments, and behold God’s presence with you in the everyday. Purchase some breath prayer cards, a Lectio Divina bookmark, and more.
Last year, I wrote an Advent eBook devotional and it’s now on my Etsy shop again, along with some Advent-themed breath prayer cards. If you find yourself wanting to make more intentional space for Christ this Christmas season, I think these resources will help:
Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!
My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently
An Invitation to Pause & Reflect
A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.
Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):
What are you carrying into this Advent season?
What ache is longing for love?
In what ways do you see God coming to you?
