Writings of a Beholder 🌿 12.30.22
standing at the threshold of new beginnings
Weekly writings of a beholder 🌿
Standing at the threshold of new beginnings
Today marks the last letter that I will send to you in 2022, which comes with both waves of celebration and sorrow. A sort of loneliness creeps into my soul, right next to the excitement and anticipation, when thinking about new beginnings.
Maybe it’s because it all seems so unknown and uncertain.
Maybe it’s because I’m leaving bits and pieces of myself behind while I reach for a new kind of hope.
Or, maybe, it’s both and a bunch of other unnamed things.
This year, I haven’t really felt like setting goals for the new year. In years past, I’ve reached for my planner avidly and excitedly, longing for a target to aim at and a big dream to conquer. But this year, I don’t much feel like reaching for my bow or putting on my conquering pants, so both sit idly in the corner collecting dust next to the planner I didn’t purchase this year.
Well, I did purchase a planner, but it’s a different kind of planner. It’s one that invites me to slow down, pay attention to my soul, and implement rhythms that bring me closer to the heart of God.
And maybe that’s it, right there.
Maybe the invitation this year isn’t to set any goals or conquer any big things.
Maybe the invitation this year is to stand at the threshold of new beginnings with arms wide open to the Spirit’s leading.
I’ve been praying the Psalmist’s words from Psalm 31:5 in this season each time the anxiety rises from the comparison, insecurity, and pressure I feel to match what other people are accomplishing with my own striving into the new year,
“Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, Lord, my faithful God.” (NIV)
I find it interesting that these were also Jesus’ last words aimed up at heaven as He hung dying on the cross,
“Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.” (Luke 23:46, NIV)
There’s a sort of dying that happens within us as we surrender to the Father’s will, and Jesus Himself will tell you that’s true. I’m sure He’d also say that dying isn’t easy, nor is it fun. In fact, I’d bet that He’d bluntly say that it’s just downright painful.
But I think He would also say that dying’s worth the freedom and joy that precede it. That the delight of surrender supersedes the dark despair of loneliness.
So this year, I’m choosing to die to my false self as I head into 2023 — the self that aches to attach her worth to what others think of her and how much she achieves — and instead, reach for the freedom that is mine in Christ as I invite Him to hold the lantern that lights my path.
As I listen for His invitation to be led by Him and Him alone this year.
So, here I stand at the threshold of a new year — a new, unknown, and uncertain beginning — arms and hands wide open as I surrender to and welcome brazenly (and, admittedly, a bit fearfully) the Holy Spirit’s leading.
I will be honest about where my feet are.
I will listen for His gentle, powerful voice above my own insecurities and fears and above the voices of others’ expectations for my life.
And I will be led by Love and Light and trust that the Holy Spirit’s path for my life is good and faithful.
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” - Psalm 32:8 (NIV)
peace be with you,
celia
A breath prayer for the new year
breathe in:
Into your hands, Lord.
breath out:
I commit my spirit.
*if you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, check out this blog post I wrote titled, How to Use Breath Prayer.
Resources & fun things to pick up
If like me, you’re feeling overwhelmed by the new year, maybe the practice of discerning the season of your soul will be of help to you. On the blog this week, I share the different characteristics of the soul seasons, some reflection questions to help you tend to your inner life, and I end with a little prayer: Discerning the Season of Your Soul
If you’re interested in the planner that I mentioned in today’s letter, check it out here: Sacred Ordinary Days Planner
Toward the latter half of this year, I’ve been learning about the liturgical calendar and all of its seasons and I’ve quite enjoyed it. Did you know that the liturgical season of Christmas lasts 12 days? I didn’t! Listen to this informative podcast episode from Sacred Ordinary Days to learn more about the Christmas season. It may be helpful in discerning what spiritual rhythms would be life-giving to implement in this season: Christmas + Christmastide + Celebration
My friend and fellow writer, Kari Bartkus, is offering an 8-week journaling course called Journal Gently designed to help you experience God’s presence in the midst of grief. I went through the 8-week writing program myself, and it was incredibly healing and life-giving. You can use code LDT30 at checkout for $30 off your purchase until tomorrow! Check it out here: Journal Gently
Grab some breath prayer cards, a journal, and other contemplative resources from my Etsy shop: The Beholding Co.
Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon.
An invitation to pause & reflect
A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so that we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.
Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s):
How are you honestly feeling about the new year approaching?
What’s one invitation you feel the Lord extending to you in this season?
xo,
celia
