Writings of a Beholder 🌿 11.17.23
One Question to Ask in Every Season
In last week’s letter, I shared that God has me in a fallow, winter season.
A season where I imagine a big, freshly plowed field filled with fluffy, dark soil. I stand there like a child with bare feet, sinking my toes into the dirt as if trying to ground my body to earth. Jesus is there, walking slowly amongst the tilled field, a pondering look on His face.
He pauses, looks at me, and asks, “What do you want to plant here, together?”
I’m startled by His question, looking up from my feet now covered in soil. I assumed that He would be the One to tell me what we should be planting in this field. He reads the surprise on my face and laughs gently.
“I trust you, Beloved”, He says. “And I always offer you a choice.”
It’s my voice He values, I realize, as tears threaten to spill down my face. The words of Isaiah 43 that I’ve been meditating on recently come to mind, the reality of them hitting me someplace deep.
“Because you are precious in my sight
and honored, and I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you
and nations instead of your life.” (v. 4, CSB, emphasis added)
Precious, honored, loved.
This is how my Savior sees me and receives me.
So He extends to me a choice, an invitation, as a way to honor me. The King of Kings, honoring me? Loving me? Calling me precious? He knows how much it means for me to have a choice, to have a voice, to not have to work to be heard or seen, or enough.
And what’s more is that He wants to hear me, to see me, to tell me over and over again that I am loved and enough simply because He created me.
The tears fall like a flood now, my cheeks wet, and I walk toward Him in that empty, lovely field and plant my feet right in front of His. He reaches up to wipe my tears, knowing their source and healing something within that I didn’t even know was broken.
I turn His invitation over in my mind, weigh it in my hands, and tuck it into my heart.
“I… I don’t want to plant anything here, Abba. At least, not for a while. I want to rest here, with You, and receive the refreshment this fallowness offers.”
My voice grows steadier as I process that I do indeed want to say yes to this empty ground. I want to give myself over to it and invite Jesus to tend to my roots — to grow them and nurture them as I learn here how to enjoy His presence. It’s a new concept for me, one that makes me slightly uncomfortable, this not working for my worth.
But my whole being cries out for it, longing for it, and I didn’t even know it until Jesus asked me that one simple question. His questions always point to deeper things, don’t they?
He smiles at my response, nodding His head as if He already suspected that might be my answer. He says with a smile and expectant joy in His voice, “I was hoping you would say that.”
I mirror His smile, looking down at my feet once again, ready for these feet to be right where they are — ready for my soul to be grounded as I’m finally able to practice being present to my life.
One question — this fallow, wintery, restful season began with a single question posed by my compassionate Father. One invitation that, once reflected on, set me free from so much in a single moment as it pointed me due north.
The truth is that sometimes, seasons are hard to name and discern. The tricky thing with seasons is that they’re always changing, and we’re always evolving, and it can be difficult to know which direction to step toward.
This is how I felt for months before I gave Jesus the space to speak this invitation into my life, teaching me that when I’m not certain about where my feet are or I’m feeling anxious about where I think they should be, it’s best to pause, sit with Jesus in the silence, and ask Him, “What invitation are you extending to me in this season of my life?”
Sometimes, He’ll respond with a question, and sometimes there’s just more silence. Other times, there’s a clear answer. But I cling to the truth of God’s words in Jeremiah 29:12-14 that He indeed always listens and always desires to be found by His people.
“You will call to me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—” (CSB)
He always makes Himself available, waiting patiently to be noticed, asked, and invited in. He is not demanding, or pushy, and He will not force Himself on us. He gives us a choice, always.
And sometimes, when life feels a little wonky and we feel off-balance, it can be helpful to begin with a question of our own. In asking God what His invitation is to us in each season of life, we extend to Him the invitation to come and be near — to illuminate the way forward and to walk with us as we try our best to take our next right step.
The answer may not come as we expect or as quickly as we would like it to. But by asking God this question, we choose to believe that God knows right where are and is loving us through every season and every moment. This question opens us up to receive His presence with us, pulling us closer to His heart.
And at the end of the day, isn’t that always the point?
So, friend, may we always remember to make space to notice the invitations we are sensing within each day and every season. May Jesus’ Love be an anchor, grounding us to the present where His presence is.
And may we know, down deep in our bones, that we are honored, precious, and loved in our Savior’s eyes.
Selah.
With you on the journey,
Celia
Life Lately
A Breath Prayer for Your Weekend
Inhale: Lord, You are my portion.
Exhale: And my cup of blessing.
(adapted from Psalms 16:5, CSB)
*If you’d like to learn more about the practice of breath prayer, download this complete digital guide to practicing breath prayer.
Resources & Good Things to Pick Up
My Etsy shop, The Beholding Co., offers contemplative resources to help you slow down, seek still moments, and behold God’s presence with you in the everyday. Purchase some breath prayer cards, a Lectio Divina bookmark, and more.
Last year, I wrote an Advent eBook devotional and it’s now on my Etsy shop again, along with some Advent-themed breath prayer cards. If you find yourself wanting to make more intentional space for Christ this Christmas season, I think these resources will help:
Grab a copy of my Bible study, You Are Beloved: a 21-day study on how to root your identity in the love of God, over on Amazon. If you’d like a free 3-day sample of the study, reply to this email and I’ll send it right over!
My friend and licensed spiritual director, Kari Bartkus, offers an 8-week journaling program for those who want to process their grief and trauma with God within the safety of blank journal pages. I’ve completed the program myself and can say confidently that it was incredibly impactful and healing: Journal Gently
An Invitation to Pause & Reflect
A regular practice of reflection helps us recognize what’s going on beneath the surface of our souls so we can name it in the Lord’s presence. Because as we learn to name what we feel, what we need, and what we long for, we’re also learning to discern the Spirit’s sweet, gentle voice within our hearts and lives.
Take a few moments today or this weekend to journal or contemplate with the Holy Spirit the following question(s) or prompt(s):
As you quiet your heart before God, what invitations are you sensing?
How does it make you feel to know that God values your voice and always gives you a choice?
How might you respond to any invitations emerging?
